March 31, 2011

Graduate! na sana...

I am truly SAD. I am JEALOUS. I am REGRETFUL. 
Until now I have not graduated from college yet. It's been since 2008 that I should've gotten my diploma. But where I am now?, still trying to finish a degree at a University. I am TIRED. I want to QUIT now. My mind says to stop while my heart suggests to continue. My batch mates, most of them are already degree holder and some are license holder of different professions. 

I have never imagined that I will not finish college during the time I should've finished it. I entered college June 2004. I was kind-of-forced to take Nursing. I can still remember enrolling for BS Commerce but my mother told me to change it otherwise I would have to return to our province. So I then shifted to Nursing. I enjoyed the first 2 years of college. I had very good grades. Come my third year where Duties are part of the curriculum already, I started to feel my dislike with the course. I don't like the hospital settings. I hate the fact that I take care of sick people. I hate blood. I hate needles. I feel like instead of prolonging a sick person's life I can instead shorten it. I don't have focus while I'm on my duty. I was decided. I wanted to escape from it. And I can't find any ways to do that apart from getting a JOB. Thus, I applied for a job at a call center. I was hired. My parents didn't know what i did. I am supposed to be an incoming fourth year then.

After 2 years of working. I decided to go back to school. This time I took Financial Management, I am just on my 2nd year. Still have to take a lot of subjects. 

I don't know where am I directed! I am really tired. I am a WORKING STUDENT. I told myself that I have to earn a degree as soon as possible but I can't give up my job as well. I have my own bills to pay. And of course, I pay my own tuition fees. I don't want to ask my parents to send me back to school, they've spent so much during my Nursing days. I am old enough to support my self.

I can manage my time, but it's really tough. It's physically and mentally exhausting. There were times that I just found myself crying due to tiredness. I know GOD has good plans for me. I am just hoping I am going to the right direction. 

Bon Bon: Kaya mo Yan!